It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
