carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
