so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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