STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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