Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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