the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i think my cat just said my name.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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