thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
if only i could text you this smell
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Less talking, more tequila
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
