she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize