The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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