why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
