the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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