Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
