That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do herpes really smell.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
