well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
