Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
