wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
