Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
