I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
