I cockslap morals
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
