the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize