That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
