apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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