batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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