I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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