she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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