I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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