i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
