This girl is more easily done than said...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
