that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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