is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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