Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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