OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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