you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
