i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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