i just had sex bonerless
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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