Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
