I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
