Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
