Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
