Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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