fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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