The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Panties = found
Randomize
