The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize