and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
