If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
