well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
