Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
