dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
