im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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