She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
