Sorry, I don't speak sober.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
