Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
