People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
