I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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