dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
