I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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