had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
