hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
someone owes me an orgasm
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
