Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
