I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
