i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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