It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
