apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
