Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
