it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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