For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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