At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
