How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
how drunk are you?
Several
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
