physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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