dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
