you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
